


The Search For Sunshine

by MissyLovesCastiel



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Daddy Dean, DeanCas - Freeform, Death, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills - Freeform, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Marv/Metatron, Mental Illness, Michael - Freeform, Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Parent Dean, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Self-Harm, Suicidal Tendencies, Suicide, a good balance of angst and fluff, anna milton - Freeform, becky rosen - Freeform, bookstore fic, chuck shurley - Freeform, daddy!dean, dadstiel, parent!Dean, sam winchester/eileen leahy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-24 02:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12003495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissyLovesCastiel/pseuds/MissyLovesCastiel
Summary: Castiel has had a hard life. Dealing with a schizophrenic father, and then his suicide, left him with depression, anxiety, and ptsd, and no choice but to live with his older brother Gabriel. After being released from the hospital for which he insists is the last time, he is determined to create a better life for himself.Dean hasn't had it easy either. His mother died in a house fire when he was 4, his father died in a drunk driving incident when he was 15, and he became a father at 23, only for the mother of his child, Lisa, to die in a car accident. But he's determined to create a happy life for his son, Ben.Dean and his son just might be what fills the hole in Castiel's heart, and Castiel just might be the one to complete Dean and Ben's little family.Will Castiel, Dean, and Ben live happily ever after, or will Castiel's past catch up to him and destroy everything like always?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever, so please leave lots of comments and let me know how I'm doing. I'm hoping to upload a new chapter at least once a week. 
> 
> A huge thank you to my friends Haley and Brandy for listening to me whine about this and for giving me advice when needed.

It had been a month since Castiel was released from the hospital. A week since starting his new job at the bookstore. He hoped this time it’d be different, that he’d be different, and it would all work out. Everything would fall into place, and he’d be happy. That’s what he told himself in order to get out of bed in the morning. 

Castiel couldn’t help but feel like this life wasn’t enough for him, that he was meant for greater things than organizing books on a shelf. But that’s what depression does to you. It takes an extraordinary person and dulls their light. He knew this not only from his own experience, but from watching his father, and his sister, and every other sibling Chuck’s bad genes got passed down to. 

Chuck Shurley wasn’t a bad man by any means, he was just confused and sick. That’s what Castiel had to tell himself in order to not hate his father. Chuck was schizophrenic; he had hallucinations of angels coming to him and telling him what he thought to be the future. He wrote stories that he insisted must be brought to life. In order to do so, he named all of his many children after the angels. Chuck had children with many women, so though Castiel has dozens of siblings, only Anna had the same mother. Anna got it the worst of them. Like Chuck, she was also schizophrenic, and like Chuck, she also ended up killing herself. 

Castiel never knew his mother. Him and Anna were raised solely by Chuck, along with his half brothers, Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer. The first time he spoke with a therapist after his father’s death, they thought he might have been schizophrenic too, after he explained to them that the bruises around his throat were from Lucifer choking him. Of course they eventually realized he was talking about his brother, not the devil, though he may as well have been in Castiel’s eyes. Lucifer got away with abusing him for many years, until he finally went to prison, not for torturing Castiel, but for the murder of Michael. Now it was just him and Gabriel. They had many other half siblings, but they hardly kept in touch. It was hard to find things to talk about when the only things you have in common were an insane father and an unusual name. 

Gabriel surely isn’t the most mature of them all, but he’s all Castiel has left. He’s the one that was there to pick him up from the hospital any time he took one too many pills, cut a little too deep, or stopped eating for awhile. Castiel knew he was a burden on Gabriel’s shoulders, but he never let it show. He’d bring him home and say “welcome home baby bro!”, feed him the best of meals, and check on him in the middle of the night when he had a nightmare. He never understood how Gabriel was so immune to the chaos of their lives. Sure, he’d been through therapy like the rest of them, but he never seemed depressed, never took a single pill. Castiel envied his strength. 

Living with Gabriel the past few years hasn’t been easy, no matter how much he loves and admires his brother. He’s messy and loud, and sometimes Castiel wishes he could move out and start his own life apart from his brother. He would never abandon his brother, but at 25 years old, he’s tired of being “baby bro”. It’s just that Castiel has yet to be stable enough or make enough money to be on his own. He dreams of a day that he can have a life and family of his own, away from the mess that is his past. Maybe someday. 

*

“WAKEY, WAKEY! EGGS AND BAKEY!”, Castiel hears Gabriel shout, much too close for his liking. So close he can smell the caramel flavored coffee on his breath. 

“Gabriel, it is completely unnecessary to shout at me from two inches away from my face, and it is a very unpleasant way to be woken up.” Castiel responds, as he wipes the sleep away from his eyes. 

“I know, I know, I just thought you’d like an unnecessary scare to dampen the real scare that comes after.” 

“Gabriel…what did you do?” Castiel looks up at his brother with suspicion, he’s always been known as a trickster. 

“Hey, this time it wasn’t me! All you. Look at the clock.” 

11 am. Castiel was supposed to be at work an hour ago. 

“GABRIEL! Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?!” He yells as he scrambles out of bed, fumbling for his work clothes.

“You’re the one always complaining about me babying you, you don’t get to blame this one on me! Your job, your responsibility.” Gabriel says with a smirk. 

“Easy for you to say! You own your own bakery. You don’t have a boss to answer to. I can’t afford to lose another job, you know that!” He knows Gabriel is right, but he’s too panicked to take any responsibility. As he buttons the last button on his shirt and grabs his car keys, he shoots Gabriel one last angry glance. 

“Have a nice day at work Cassie!” 

*

Work isn’t so bad. At least not the part where he gets to smell that new book smell all day long, and read the descriptions on the backs of books he hasn’t read yet. He makes a mental note of which ones he’d like to take a closer look at after his shift is over. 

It’s the customer service part of his job that Castiel would like to do without. He’ll be the first to admit that his people skills are a little rusty. It’s what has lost him jobs in the past. Spilling hot coffee on a customer (and being too scared to look them in the eye to apologize) at a serving job he had at a diner, asking an already angry customer to “please shut up for a moment” over the phone at a desk job, and that time at that retail job when a customer asked him if a dress looked good on her, to which he responded, “it looks a few sizes too small.” She wasn’t too happy about that. 

To be fair, Castiel wasn’t fired from most of these jobs, he just stopped going out of embarrassment. He’d stop going to work, and start spending all his time in bed, not eating, barely sleeping, barely existing. He always knew he was overreacting, but he couldn’t control it. He thinks there was a time when this wasn’t who he was, when he was strong and capable of anything. He was always a bright kid, a happy kid. Things change when you come home from a seemingly normal day of the 9th grade and your father is lying dead on the kitchen floor, he guesses. 

It was surprising that morning when he came into work to find out Gabriel had already called his boss to let him know Castiel was feeling a little “sick” that morning and would be in a bit late. He should have known that Gabriel would never actually give him the “tough love” treatment. It wasn’t in Gabriel’s nature. Sure, he liked to play tricks and pranks, but at the end of the day, he was Castiel’s number one supporter. He was the whole reason he got this job. Apparently Marv, owner of the local bookstore, ‘Garden of Readin’, frequented Gabriel’s bakery, ‘Trickster’s Treats’. It wasn’t surprising, everyone in Sioux Falls knows Gabriel and his treat shop. He could get a favor from anyone in town if he wanted to. It was just a little disappointing that Castiel needed favors from Gabriel to keep a job. 

It was just him and Kevin working today. Kevin was a high school student working at the bookstore to save for college. Castiel thought it was odd because the kid was only a freshmen and clearly smart enough to get a full ride anywhere he wanted, but he always said, “just in case, I have to be prepared.” 

Kevin wasn’t the smoothest guy you’d ever meet, but he was better with people than Castiel was, so he let him run the cash register while he put new books out in the children’s section. He couldn’t remember reading books like these as a kid. 

He was always an advanced reader, and it probably had something to do with his father forcing religious text on him as a small child. Chuck wasn’t a stereotypical “Christian” man, probably not Christian at all, because it wasn’t just angels. It was pagan gods, roman gods, vampires, werewolves….anything not quite natural. Angels were just the most prominent characters in his stories. So Castiel read bibles, spell books, or just plain old Latin because “it’ll come in handy one day”. 

Flipping through the pages of colorful illustrations, Castiel remembers how awkward school book reports were in elementary school. All the other kids presented happy children’s books that they read with their parents. After his teacher had told him that the Bible wasn’t an appropriate choice for a book report, he decided to do his on Dante’s Inferno. The other 3rd graders were confused and somewhat frightened, and his teacher was shocked he could comprehend the material, but mainly disappointed that he still stuck to religious themes. Many teachers throughout his childhood tried to show him how to properly “be a kid”, but there was no turning back. Once you knew the dark horrors of humanity you couldn’t pretend everything was sunshine and roses. He lost his childhood at five years old, when his father overdosed on a cocktail of too many sleeping pills and a glass of whiskey. Apparently he was trying to fight the demons off. 

Castiel thinks someday he’ll have a child, and they’ll read books like Charlotte’s Webb and Winnie The Pooh, and his child will be happy and full of life, they’ll get warm hugs and know they’re loved, and they’ll look into the world and know that it is beautiful. They’ll believe in sunshine on a rainy day. 

But Castiel will probably never have children of his own. He’s never been attracted to women, never had any sort of relationship with anyone at all. And no one that knows his history would dare let him adopt. It breaks his heart to think about. 

“Ben, check this out!” Castiel heard a man say. He hadn't even realized someone had entered the store. He'd been lost in a daydream. The man held a Star Wars alphabet book in his hand and was smiling at a small boy. They'll make anything with Star Wars on it these days. 

Castiel wasn't sure what struck him the most about the man. His big, bright smile, The freckles on his face visible from an aisle away, or the way he cared for the child he had with him. The child couldn't have been older than 2 years old. He had dark hair and dark eyes unlike the man, but he had the same enthusiastic smile. The man scooped him up and flipped through the Star Wars book.   
“This would be the coolest way for you to learn your letters, don't you think buddy?” He said to the boy, who started giggling and grabbing for the pages. Castiel couldn't help but think the man was beautiful, the way he grinned so brightly and loved the child so fiercely. It was clear to see just by looking at them. 

He had a feeling in his gut that he couldn't quite put a name to. He felt desire, envy, curiosity, and wonder all mixed into one. What was the most odd of all was his intense want to approach the man. He usually avoided customers at all costs if he could. 

Castiel wanted to know this man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Castiel comes much easier to me, mostly because Dean involves cars and I don't know anything about cars, so I apologize for thinking Dean absolutely has to be a mechanic and not knowing anything about being a mechanic.

Unlike many young fathers, Dean didn't mind being woken up by the screams and cries of his child. It told him that his boy was still alive in there. Maybe it was a bit morbid that Dean had to think that way. Ben is about the age Sammy was when Dean first started taking care of him. No mom and a drunken father left a 6 year old boy to keep his baby brother alive. 

Ben turned 2 years old four months ago, in May, and Dean swears he has yet to see the “terrible twos” everyone warned him about. Ben is a sweet child, and Dean is proud to be his father. He was never disappointed about becoming a father. Scared definitely, afraid he wouldn't be good enough, but never disappointed. He had years of experience with raising Sammy, and he never minded then either. It was in his nature to take care of people. 

Despite having a small child in the house, it felt quiet. Dean and Ben moved into their own home about a month ago. When Sam moved out of Bobby’s house to get an apartment with his girlfriend, Eileen, 6 months ago, Bobby decided to sit Dean down and remind him that he was making more than enough money at the shop to support himself and his son. It was something that never occurred to him. He never expected that as a high school dropout he'd ever make enough money to buy his own house, but here he was.

As ecstatic as he was about having a house of his own and making decent money at Bobby’s auto repair shop, it still felt odd to him. It was weird being away from Sam, his uncle Bobby, Bobby’s wife Ellen, and her daughter Jo. Even Jo wasn't living in Bobby’s house anymore, so he supposes he may have overstayed his welcome. 

The only reason he ever went to live with Bobby was because of his alcoholic father being stupid enough to get behind the wheel while drunk off his ass. His father died that night, and left his two boys with no family other than Bobby, who wasn't even a blood relative. “Family don't end with blood”, Bobby would always say. Dean knew Bobby truly cared about him and Sam, but he would never not feel like a burden to the man.

Without truly knowing what having a parent felt like, it was hard to let anyone take care of him. He only knew how to be a caregiver. Bobby so dearly wanted to give Sam and Dean the childhood their father never let them have, but Dean always insisted on taking care of himself, taking care of Sammy, doing work around the house, even helping to pay for groceries by working at Bobby’s shop. 

Dean never expected things to go so well working for Bobby. Everyone in town knew they could trust Bobby Singer with their cars and trucks, so they knew Dean Winchester was taught by the best. The older Bobby got, the more work got passed on to Dean. He made enough money to care for his brother, and then for his son, and that was all that mattered. 

There was nothing in the world that mattered more than family to Dean. Even if you were a friend, you were family, and that meant that Dean Winchester had your back and no one was going to fuck with you. Dean had a tough guy reputation, but anyone that really knew him knew he was the biggest teddy bear. 

Dean being Dean, he moved into a house that was in perfect distance between Bobby’s place and Sam and Eileen’s apartment. He couldn't stand to be too far from his family, and he wanted to keep Ben close to them as well. It takes a village, right? Everything seemed to be going well for them, which almost concerned Dean. Things usually didn't go well for him. 

*

By 8:30 Ben was wailing in his bedroom for his daddy to come get him up. Ben didn't have a crib anymore, but the door handle was just a bit too high for him to get a grip on. Dean thought this worked well for them, he didn't want a 2 year old running around the house while he was asleep. 

As soon as Dean opened Ben’s door, his cries turned into giggles and he had a huge smile on his face. Dean loved that about his boy, he was never grumpy for long and he had the most contagious smile. 

“Good morning buddy! What should we do today?” Dean said as he lifted his baby up and walked out to the kitchen. “We got bacon, eggs, pancakes...let’s eat and then we can decide what we're gonna do.”

Dean watched in amusement as his son grabbed two fist fulls of syrupy pancakes and shoved them into his mouth. He would definitely be needing a bath if they were going to go anywhere today. As Ben finished his breakfast, Dean went to start the bath and get fresh clothes out for the boy. He never expected his life to be so….domestic.

*

Dean thought it'd be a good idea to take Ben to the bookstore today. He never felt like he was very smart, and never really had parents to help him through school, so he wanted things to be different for his son. Dean wanted everything for his son. He wanted him to do so good in school that he could be anything he'd ever dream of. Dean likes being a mechanic, but he can't help but wonder what his life could have been like if he did well in school and didn't end up dropping out. He knows one thing: he'll never let Ben make the same mistakes he did. He hopes that simply being there for his son, unlike his father was, will give Ben a lot of things he never had. 

One thing Dean did get from his father, was his absolutely beautiful 1967 Chevy Impala. Dean didn't care much for material possessions, other than that car. He had always been adamant on preserving her natural beauty, without any upgrades, but once Ben came around, he decided it was probably time to add seat belts. 

Ben was not yet of the age to be able to appreciate the beauty that is the impala, but he sure did love car rides. It was never hard to get Ben to want to go “bye bye”. Dean wasn't sure Ben understood what the “bookstore” was, but he was excited enough just to go for a “car ride”. That he definitely understood. 

Dean was a little embarrassed that he had to google where the nearest bookstore was. Any books he read himself were usually taken off of Bobby’s bookshelf or given to him from Sam as Christmas or birthday gifts. Sam also made sure Ben received plenty of books for his birthday, Christmas, and any other time of the year, because who needs an excuse to give an adorable little boy a present? 

Dean thought the name “Garden of Readin’” was a little corny, but he'd much rather take Ben to an actual bookstore than Walmart. His boy deserved the best selection. The store was made of dark red brick, and was tucked tightly between an old diner and and a tattoo shop on a street downtown. He thought it looked kinda hipster, but figured a good bookstore would. 

“Where we?” Says Ben. 

“Bookstore, buddy! We're gonna get you some cool new book! How about that?”

“Yayyyy! Books!”

When Dean gets Ben out of the impala, he insists on walking up to the door on his own, and attempts to open the door by himself. Dean lets him try three times before he finally gives him a hand. Gotta let the boy try, right? 

As they walked through the door a bell dinged, and Ben looked up at his dad and giggled with the widest smile on his face, as if the coolest thing in the world just happened. 

“Welcome to Garden of Readin’!” A kid said from the counter. 

“Yeah, hey, where are your Children’s books?” Dean said to the kid.

“Straight to the back by the yellow couch!” The kid said as he pointed. “Castiel is back there and he can help you if you have any questions. Or, you could ask me. My name is Kevin.” 

Castiel. Garden of Readin’. Weird. 

Dean and Ben headed back to the children’s section. Ben’s eyes lit up at all the colorful illustrations on the covers of the many books. Dean had to stop him a few times from tearing a bunch of books off the shelves. He didn't want to be kicked out of the store if his son made too big of a mess. He carefully pulled Ben’s arm back and picked up the book for him, turning through the pages and showing them to his son. Depending on how enthusiastic Ben looked, he'd either put the book back or set it in a pile of books they'd buy. 

Dean noticed a small section of learning books that were Star Wars themed. Now Star Wars, that was a language he spoke, and if Ben really was his kid, he was bound to too. He pulled out a Star Wars alphabet book. 

“Ben! Check this out!” He said as he flipped through the pages. As Ben waddled closer he scooped him up into his arms. “This would be the coolest way for you to learn your letters, don't you think buddy?” 

Ben giggled and grabbed at the pages. Dean couldn't help but smile at his son’s enthusiasm. Whether it was for the letters or the Star Wars characters on the pages, it didn't matter, he was proud of his son. He would always be proud of his son, and he wanted Ben to always know that. He wanted him to know what it was like to have a dad that would love and support him no matter what. 

After a moment of being lost in his thoughts, he looked up and noticed a man was watching them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most Chapters will not be this short, I just really wanted this one to end at the end of the scene so that I could switch to Castiel's point of view.

At first Dean was uncomfortable. Who wouldn't be...realizing you and your son were being watched…

But dean didn't think this guy meant any harm. He figured he must have been that Castiel guy. He was kind of beautiful, actually. The kind of guy you might want staring at you. It was a weird thought to have, but he thought it. Regardless, the guy wasn't staring at him sexually or anything like that. He looked curious, maybe even like he was admiring them. He probably just thought Ben was a cute kid. But then Dean realized…

The man was looking directly into Dean’s eyes. Not even breaking contact when he had to have realized that Dean noticed. The man’s eyes were the most beautiful, ocean shade of blue he had ever seen. He had dark hair that curled around the edges, and facial structure that looked almost angelic. 

What was Dean thinking?! When did his life turn into such a chick flick? It wasn't the first time he'd been attracted to a man….just the first time he thought about a man in a way that was so...poetic.

Dean realized it was probably time for one of them to either break eye contact or say something, and it clearly wasn't going to be this Castiel guy. As it turned out, it wasn't going to be Dean either. Before he had the chance to say something, he saw Ben run out in front of him, and slam right into the guy’s legs, hitting him in the crotch with the book that was in his band. 

So this had to be the day, right at this very moment, that Ben was going to decide to break out the terrible twos. Just Dean’s luck. 

The man fell back against a bookshelf, books falling over his head, and Ben took off down the aisle. Dean immediately jumped up and ran after his son. 

“God, I'm so sorry man.” Dean said as he passed the man. Once he got to Ben, he lifted him up tightly into his arms so that he couldn't break free. Giggling, Ben had no idea that what he did was wrong. 

“Ben, that wasn't very nice. You can't run into people like that, you can't hit people like that, and you can't run through a store like that. Now go tell that man you're sorry.” Dean prided himself on having a son that at such a young age understood the meaning of words like “please”, “thank you”, and “sorry”. 

After Dean set him down, Ben ran up to the man, now standing and putting books back on the shelves, and hugged his legs. Maybe it was time Dean sat him down and had a talk about strangers...not that he thought this guy would be a problem, but Ben wouldn't know. 

“I sorry” Ben said to him. 

“Oh...um, it's alright. It was just an accident.” The man said, looking back and forth between Ben and Dean. 

“No, man, it's not alright. He knocked you over, made a mess, the least we can do is apologize and help you pick up these books.” Dean said to the man while grabbing for some of the books on the floor. 

“No, no. Really, it's best you didn't. These books have to go in a very specific order…..though I do appreciate the offer. I'd just rather do it myself, and really, your son is no bother to me. He's just a kid, he didn't know better.” The man said while taking the books from Dean's hands. 

“Oh, uh, okay. Well, again, we’re sorry, and it's uh, Castiel right? I'm Dean, this is my son, Ben.” Dean said as Ben stared up at Castiel with a grin on his face. 

“Yes, I am Castiel. Hello Dean, and hello Ben.” 

Ben giggled and grabbed for Castiel’s hand.

“I'm sorry, he's a little too friendly for his own good I think.” Dean said, with slight embarrassment in his voice. 

“Oh no, he's a sweet kid, I don't mind.” Castiel said, smiling shyly down at Ben. 

“Sweet?! He just knocked a ton of your books down and sent you with them.” Dean said in amusement. 

“Oh, yeah.” Castiel said shyly, as if he forgot being thrown into the bookshelf by a tiny human. “Really, it's okay, don't be too hard on him.”

“Oh he doesn't know hard. Anyway, we should get out of here.” Dean said as he scooped up Ben and the books they wanted to buy. 

“Oh, well, goodbye then. I hope Ben enjoys his books.” 

“He will, thanks.” Dean gave Castiel a smile to which he returned shyly. He seemed like a weird guy, but like, interesting weird. 

Dean walked up to the front desk and handed Kevin their books.

“You find everything okay?” Kevin asked them. 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Dean said with a laugh. Ben laughed too, though he probably had no idea what they were laughing for. Dean payed and Kevin handed them their bag of books. 

“Well have a nice day you two!” Kevin said.

“Thanks, you too.” Dean took his kid and their books and headed out to the car. As he buckled Ben in he was thinking of excuses to go back to that bookstore another day to see that guy. What was he thinking? You don't pick someone up at their place of work, especially when you don't even know if they're into dudes.

That was the hardest part about being bisexual. You can't just assume those things. It's easier to assume everyone is straight. That's why Dean thought it was easier to just date girls all the time. But he hadn't even dated a girl since Lisa. It was hard bringing another woman into Ben’s life. He didn't want to replace Ben’s mother. He wondered if Ben even knew who his mom was anymore. It probably seemed like a lifetime ago for him. To Dean it was just yesterday. That's probably what shocked him the most about his attraction to this Castiel guy. He'd been trying to date for awhile now and it always felt wrong from the start. This felt different, and he didn't even know the guy. 

Still, Dean drove all the way home, thinking the entire time about this mystery man, Castiel, and how the hell he’d find an excuse to see him again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's where the story really picks up. Character backgrounds, character introductions, and finally Dean and cas meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I should put some warnings. Cas has a graphic nightmare, Cas has self destructive behaviors. This chapter is a lot longer than the last ones but I'm really excited about it and I hope you guys like it!! Comment and let me know how I'm doing.

Castiel hoped to god he didn't scare that man, Dean, away. He was trying his very hardest not to be rude or too socially awkward, as people always told him he was. It was naive to think that Castiel would ever meet this man again, but lord, he hoped he would. He wasn't sure what it was about the man. After all, all he knew about him was what he looked like and how he behaved with his son. 

He seemed young to be a father, but that made how sweet he was with his child all that more admirable. Chuck wasn't young and had lots of experience with his children before Castiel came to be, and he still managed to fail. He supposes that wasn't all Chuck’s fault though. His mental illnesses overpowered who he really was, or could have been. 

Castiel finally had all the books back in order when Kevin approached him with a grin on his face.

“So what happened with that guy and his kid?” Kevin asked.

“His son knocked me into the bookshelf. Some books fell down.”

“And you didn't freak out? Wow, Castiel, I'm proud of you! You're getting better with the customers every day.” 

Castiel had to keep himself from being offended by the way Kevin spoke to him, he tried to understand that he meant well. He faked a smile and went back to work. 

“Hey...Cas, you know you can go home now. Your shift is over. Becky just clocked in.” 

How had he not noticed how much time had gone by? He normally had his eyes glued to the clock, waiting desperately for it to be time to go home. He was just so lost in his thoughts. 

“Oh...yeah, I'm going home now.”

Kevin just stared at him awkwardly. So he grabbed his coat and clocked out. He didn't care what Kevin thought of him. He knew he probably thought he was crazy, for a variety of reasons. 

He got into his banged up Lincoln and drove home. He'd have the place to himself for awhile and have time to think, Gabriel wouldn't be home until 10pm, and it was only 3pm. The bookstore only scheduled him 5 hour shifts since he was still “recovering”. He didn't know whether he liked that or hated it. On one hand, he didn't want to work. On the other, he needed the money and wanted to be a respectable adult. 

Gabriel’s home was Castiel’s home. That's what Gabriel always told him. However, Castiel never truly felt home. Chuck’s home has never felt like his home, Gabriel’s home has never felt like his home. When Chuck first died, Gabriel was 21 years old, in business school and culinary school, and had an apartment that was the most “hole in the wall” you could get. Castiel had no Godparents so was sent to live with his oldest living sibling, which was Gabriel, since Lucifer was in prison. For awhile Gabriel was scared that Castiel would be taken away from him due to the conditions of his apartment and him being gone so much for school and his job at the arcade. The truth was that the system just didn't care enough. 

When Gabriel was 24 years old, he opened “Trickster’s Treats”. At 25, he bought his house. It was now 7 years later, and that's the house he and Castiel had been living all this time. Castiel had been in and out between hospital visits, and his one attempt to move out 2 years ago. He always told himself “I won't be here long”. Maybe that's why it never felt like home. Gabriel was nice enough, the problem was never him. 

Gabriel’s house was Gabriel's house. Bright and colorful. Knick-knacks and toys, candy dishes everywhere. The outside of his house was yellow, the living room was red, the kitchen was pink. He always had the tv or radio blaring. The house was loud in every meaning of the word. 

Castiel’s room was the only one in the house that hadn't been painted. It wasn't decorated in any way at all, really. He didn't have a lot of material possessions other than books. He had a few plants in his room, that was about it. 

Castiel thinks maybe he should get a cat to make this place feel a little more like home. 

The first thing he did when he got home was make a cup of green tea with honey, and took it to his bedroom where he undressed, grabbed a book, and got in bed. Reading about other people’s lives was about as close to a social life that Castiel had.

*

Castiel hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep until his ringtone woke him up. Sheriff Jody Mills was calling…that wasn't a good sign. It probably wasn't great that his family talked to the police so often that they had their numbers in their phones by name either. 

“Hello, this is Castiel.”

“Castiel, I'm so sorry but Gabriel wasn't answering his phone, figured he's busy at work, thought I'd try you.”

“What is it Sheriff?” 

“I just thought I should like you guys know...Lucifer got into a pretty bloody fight with another inmate.”

“Okay. Go on.”

“They're moving him into solitary. Thought they'd keep him there for the rest of…..forever.”

“Oh god, you scared me for a moment. Yeah, that's good. That'll be good. Better.”

“I thought you'd think so. They just gotta check with the family, make sure no lawsuits happen. Told them I'd call myself since I knew the family. I'll take it from you that Gabriel doesn't mind either?” 

“Oh no, he won't mind. We wouldn't have minded if the other inmate had killed him, to be brutally honest.” 

“I hope you're not carrying around too much of that hatred, Cas. He's locked up, no one is ever gonna let him near you again.”

“It was too late for Michael. Michael was a lot stronger than I'll ever be. It could have easily been me.” 

“But it wasn't, you're here, and we'd like you to stay here, thank you very much! So take care of yourself.” 

“I'll try. Thanks Jody.”

“Goodbye Castiel, tell Gabriel I said hi.”

“Will do.”

Castiel hung up the phone and slouched back into his bed. When would the family drama ever end? He never wanted to hear Lucifer’s name again. 

*

Lucifer had his hands right around Castiel’s throat, slamming his body against the wall, already bloody from the crack in his head. He was screaming words at him that he couldn't understand, but he could hear the anger and the hatred. His vision was starting to go blurry. Castiel didn't understand why his brother was always so disgusted with him. What did he do? What did he ever do? All it took was looking at him the wrong way sometimes. 

Suddenly he felt someone's arms wrapped around him and shaking him. Those arms felt more real. 

He realized he'd been having a nightmare. 

When he opened his eyes he saw Gabriel looking down at him with concern. 

“What time is it?” He asked his brother. 

“1am. You okay?”

“How the hell did I sleep that long?”

“Seriously bro...you okay? How long were you asleep? What's the nightmare about?”

“I got home around 3:30….read my book….for I don't know how long...I think the last time I looked at the clock was about 6….woke up at 8 to a phone call from Jody Mills...oh...there's something I need to tell you.” Castiel then told his brother all about what Jody had said about Lucifer, to which Gabriel wasn't shocked by at all, he called her back as soon as he got off of work, but even when he first heard the news, it hadn't surprised him. He then told him about his nightmare which concerned Gabriel a bit more.

“I wish she wouldn't have called you.” Gabriel said regrettingly. 

“Why? I'm an adult. I can handle it. You were busy.”

“Castiel, yes, you're an adult, but, look at you! You can't handle hearing these things. And I know what you're thinking! But it's not an insult. You have to heal and you can't heal if you're always thinking about Lucifer, and dad, and all the rest of our fucked up family drama. I worry about you, okay?! And I don't like finding you this way. You were doing really good for awhile, so yeah, it upsets me. Don't give me that look! I'm allowed to be a worried brother.” 

Castiel didn't care to admit how lucky he was to have Gabriel. He never failed to look out for him. 

“And you know what else? You haven't eaten in two days, so get your ass in the kitchen! I'm making dinner.”

“Dinner? Gabriel, you just said it was 1 am. Hardly dinner time.”

“I'm hungry, you haven't eaten, it's goddamn dinner time.” 

Castiel rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen with his brother, who began preparing to make spaghetti. With maple syrup? What a weird man. They should have never watched Elf. 

“So when I talked to Jody she also invited us over for dinner with her and the girls Sunday night. You gonna be a good boy and eat?” 

“Oh shush, Gabriel. You know I'll force it down if I have to.” 

“I'd rather you didn't have to and just did.”

“I know, I know.”

Sheriff Mills once was married to a man that she had a son with, and they were both brutally murdered by a man she had been trying to track down for previous murders. She felt personally responsible, and had adopted two daughters, Claire and Alex, as a way to start over and redeem herself. It didn't take long for her to grow into being their true mom. She also turned a lot of heads in the community when a female sheriff from another town, Donna Hanscum moved in with her. She stepped down as Sheriff in her hometown to work a private investigator job in Sioux Falls, in order to be closer to Jody. Castiel admired them. They were two openly bisexual women in positions of power. It was shocking in a place like South Dakota, which made Castiel just respect them even more. Some people saw Jody differently when they found out, but Castiel still saw nothing but the strong woman that was so willing to be a mother to anyone that needed one. 

Castiel was also close with her daughter Claire. She came from an overly religious family, and her father, Jimmy, killed himself because “the angels told him to”. Claire once told Castiel that he looked like her dad, which made him a bit uncomfortable. He wondered if he looked anything like Chuck, who had such a similar story. He felt like he needed to protect Claire, since he understood so much of where she came from. 

Castiel and Gabriel ate their spaghetti, Castiel choosing NOT to use the maple syrup, but the ordinary tomato sauce like a normal person would, and they went to bed. Castiel, with Gabriel's insistence, took a sleeping pill and managed to sleep soundly through the night. 

*

Sunday came and Castiel spent his day off reading, until it was time to leave for dinner at Jody Mill’s house. Castiel got into Gabriel’s car. Castiel never drove if he didn't have to, he wasn't great at it and didn't like having to focus on one thing for so long unless it was a good book. 

“Oh hey I forgot to tell you, they're having some of their other friends over as well. Apparently Claire has some big announcement she wants everyone there for.” 

“Gabriel! I know damn well you didn't forget and just didn't want to tell me until it was too late to back out!” 

“Hey! Cas, I know you don't like new people, but it's important to Claire that you be there! You haven't even seen her since before the hospital. You know she called about you almost every day?” 

“Don't guilt trip me.” 

“Don't pretend she's not important to you. I know she reminds you of yourself.”

“Yeah, yeah, just drive already, okay?”

“I knew you'd come around!” 

*

There were a few cars parked on the road by Jody’s house, other than the 3 in her driveway belonging to her, Donna, and the car Claire and Alex had to share. Castiel carefully examined them and tried to decide what kind of people would own them. There was an old pickup truck, a brand new silver car (Castiel wasn't good with car names), and a shiny black retro car. Seemed like an odd bunch of people to get together. But who was he to judge people based on what they drove? He didn't give a shit about his car, so it certainly wouldn't say what kind of person he was, would it? 

They walked into the house and he was greeted by Donna immediately gripping him into a tight squeeze. Gabriel went off to talk to Jody. 

“Heya Castiel! How are ya doin? You're lookin real good!” Donna said enthusiastically. Everything that woman did, she did enthusiastically. 

“Oh, I'm good. Much better, thanks.” 

He noticed Claire standing a little ways away, watching until it was her turn to speak with him. She knew better than to throw herself at him. They understood each other better than Donna understood him, even though he knew she only meant well. 

“Hi Claire.” Castiel said to the girl. She was 17 now, rebellious as hell, but Castiel still saw her as the scared little girl Jody rescued when she was 10 years old. 

“Hey, Cas...you don't look half dead at all.”

Castiel laughed. A rare thing these days. “Is that what Gabriel told you? Half dead?”

“Yeah and really I don't think it's funny at all.”

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Because you're big, dumb, dork, that's why.”

“So did you invite me over here just to insult me, or was there some real news?”

“Yeah, actually, I have something big to tell you, but you have to wait until dinner!”

Suddenly Castiel felt tiny hands pulling on his leg from just a few feet above the ground. He looked down to see a familiar little boy. 

“Hey Ben! What are you doing?” Claire said affectionately to the boy as she kneeled down to his level.

Castiel had a sick feeling in his gut.

“Oh no Ben, please leave this poor man alone!” Castiel’s mystery man, Dean, said to his son.

They made eye contact and Castiel had to rethink everything that has happened in his life up to this moment. How did they get here? What was happening? How do they know Jody and her family? Apparently Dean was wondering the same thing. 

“So uh….how do you know Jody? Or, Claire, or any of these people I guess...ha.” Dean said with a blush on his cheeks. He seemed embarrassed. 

Claire spoke up before he could. “Castiel is my best friend.” Claire knew that Jody knew Gabriel and his little brother due to unfortunate circumstances. She probably was trying to get him out of having to explain all that. She was a good kid, despite what many others thought of her.

Castiel thought it was best to add something to Claire’s response, Dean might find it creepy that a grown man was best friends with a teenage girl. “I was around a lot when Jody first adopted her. Jody knows my family well. How do you know her?”

“I'm a mechanic with my uncle Bobby over there.” Dean pointed to an older man sitting in a recliner. “Jody’s been bringing her cars to the shop since I first started. Her and Bobby go way back. She made Claire here bring the girls’ car in after she crashed it and pay for all the work herself. Can you believe it? Claire?! Working?!”

“Oh shut up, jerk.” Claire said as she rolled her eyes. 

“You were in a car crash? You got a job? Why didn't I hear about all of this?” Castiel said to the girl. 

“It was when you were….away.” She said apologetically. 

“Oh...what happened? Where are you working?”

“It's not a big deal, I just got a little distracted, didn't realize there was a red light and hit the guy in front of me. No one was hurt.”

“And she's working with me!” Dean chimed in. “Well, not as a mechanic, but in the office. Bobby was the only person in town that would hire her!” Dean laughed and Claire scowled at him before responding to Jody’s call for her to come help in the kitchen. 

Claire had a history of stealing and everyone knew it. “Bobby likes to take in troubled kids.” Dean told Castiel. 

“He's a good man for doing so. Claire deserves a chance. She's a really good kid once you know her.” 

“Oh I know. I wouldn't doubt her for a second. Jody’s a good mom and she's done great with these girls. Hey….what did Claire mean when she said you were ‘away’?” 

Castiel should have saw that one coming. He smiled shyly to the man. “Are you sure want to know?” If Dean knew about his mental health he'd for sure never have a chance with the man. 

“I can handle it.” Dean looked like he was trying to pick Castiel apart with his eyes. It stirred at all the nervous feelings in his gut. 

“I was in the hospital. For uh, self inflicted injuries.” 

He could tell Dean definitely was not expecting that. 

“Oh wow, I'm sorry. I hope you're okay man.”

“Thank you.” Castiel looked at the floor. He didn't want to know if Dean’s last words were genuine or obligatory. 

Jody called for everyone to come sit down and eat at just the right moment. As he walked into the dining room Jody pulled him under her arm. “Hey Chatty Cathy, didn't get a chance to say hi yet. I see you've made a new friend.”

“Doubtful.” Castiel said, still looking at the ground.

“Dean is a nice guy, and he'd be lucky to have you as a friend, stop being so down on yourself. You're looking good!” 

“Yes, so people keep saying. Thank you.” 

“Of course honey. Gabriel says you're sleeping well but having a hard time eating. I'll make you a small plate so you don't feel pressured, but you better eat some of it.”

“Of course, Gabriel loves to gossip.” 

“He's just lookin out for you. We all want you to be okay.”

“I know Jody, thank you.” With that he took his place at the table next to Gabriel, and accidentally across from Dean, who had Ben in his lap. 

“Oh Deano! I should've known to have a high chair here for Ben!” Donna said. 

“No worries, I would never have expected all that. He's okay in my lap, probably even big enough to handle sitting on his own on his knees, but it's okay.” Donna sat on one end of the table, with Alex on one side and a woman he didn't know on the other. Jody was on the other end, with Gabriel on one side and the man Dean identified as Bobby on the other. Claire sat down between Alex and Castiel, with a very tall but young looking man across from her. Another unrecognizable woman pulled in an extra chair between Bobby and Jody. 

Everyone already had their plates and were digging in. All but Castiel, who just stared at his food, feeling pressured despite what Jody had said. People chatted but Castiel didn't take in any of what was being said. Gabriel spoke as if he knew them all, and knowing Gabriel, he probably did. 

After awhile, Claire spoke, trying to get everyone's attention. 

“Hey everybody. I have something to tell you all.” She said. “I know all of you know that school hasn't been easy for me, and I've struggled a lot. So you all will be surprised to hear that I'm going to college.” Everyone looked impressed, but not shocked. People knew better than to underestimate Claire. “I applied to a bunch of schools, and guess what? I got into THREE!” 

Everyone started clapping and cheering for her. Anyone that knew her would know how big of an accomplishment this was. “So which one are you going to? And what for?” The very tall man asked. 

“Not sure yet, and psychology.” 

“That's awesome Claire! Any of the schools will be lucky to have you.” One of the unrecognizable women said. 

“We’re very proud.” Jody said with a wide smile on her face. 

Everyone finished their dinner and made their way back into the living room. Castiel pulled Claire into a hug and told her he was proud of her and that he knew she could do great things. Claire played it off like it was no big deal. “It's just school. Everyone does it.” 

“It was important enough to you that you invited everyone over for dinner. And no, not everyone does it. I didn't. I'm very proud of you.” Castiel told her. Claire shrugged and they went to join the rest of the group. 

Castiel soon caught on that the very tall man was Sam, Dean’s brother, and one of the women was Sam’s girlfriend, Eileen, and she was deaf. Sam seemed to be the only one talking to her in sign language, but she seemed to have no problem understanding everyone else as long as she could see their lips. The other woman was Ellen, Bobby’s wife. They all seemed very close. A family Castiel never could dream of having. 

Everyone laughed and talked, and this time Castiel didn't tune it out. He watched them with wonder. He saw how Dean doted on his son and joked with his brother. Bobby called them “idjits” a few times for fooling around. Ellen and Eileen laughed. Alex and Claire fought and Donna broke it up by wrapping them both in a big hug and sang “why can't we be friends.” Gabriel easily fit himself into anyone's conversation. Usually it would all be a bit much for Castiel, but he was finding he was enjoying himself, maybe even smiling a little. 

It was Gabriel, actually, that decided it was time to leave. “Oh no!” Dean protested, and wrapped his arm around Castiel. Wait, what? “You guys can't leave now! The party's just getting started!” 

“Yeahhhh!!!! Party!!!!!” Ben shouted after his father and grabbed onto Castiel’s arm. 

“That boy sure likes you.” Bobby laughed. Ben had been crawling all over Castiel much of the night. 

Castiel smiled. They were all such nice people. A rarity in his world. 

“Sorry guys, it's Castiel’s bedtime.” 

“Gabriel! I am not a child.” 

Everyone laughed at their bickering. “You sound like these boys!” Bobby said and gestured towards Sam and Dean. “One always trying to parent the other.”

“Hey, Sammy would still be in diapers if it weren't for me!” Dean teased. 

“And you'd have died from diabetes if it weren't for me!” Sam replied. 

“Okay boys, we get it. Now shut up.” Ellen scolded them. 

Castiel couldn't help but smile. They were fun, welcoming people. However, Gabriel was right. It was getting late and Castiel worked in the morning, and it would take him awhile to fall asleep. Gabriel knew him well. He knew just when Castiel would start to expire, even before he did himself. 

“Unfortunately, my brother is right. We should be going. It was nice to meet you all. Thank you for having us, Jody. And congratulations again, Claire.” 

Jody, Claire, Alex, and Donna all came up to give Castiel and Gabriel hugs goodbye, and little Ben decided he needed a hug goodbye too. 

Dean shyly approached him, smiling and his cheeks red with an embarrassed blush. “He really does seem to like you, huh?” 

“I guess so.” Castiel laughed. “You seem to be raising a very sweet kid.”

“Yeah, not without the help of all these guys.” 

“Regardless, you should be proud. Goodbye Dean.” 

Dean's smile could probably light up the world. 

And with that, Castiel and Gabriel headed home for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean asks Castiel on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Aya! I know it's many hours past over there in Israel, but I wanted to dedicate this chapter to you, as you have been one of the biggest supporters in me writing this, so thank you, and I hope you've had a great birthday!

Dean had officially decided he was going to have to find a reason to go to that goddamn bookstore. 

He had a very….interesting conversation with Jody after Castiel and his brother left after dinner. Even though he should have been getting his son home to bed, this conversation had been worth sticking around for. Jody gave him some useful information on the man he was oh so interested in. (His son seemed pretty interested too. He could already tell Ben was going to be his wingman.) 

Jody was by no means a subtle woman. She knew she had to get her point straight across and Dean sure got it. Jody and Donna told dean how interesting it was that Castiel had never ever been with a woman, despite his gorgeous looks, and had never seemed to be interested in one, like, ever. “I think he's gay.” Alex chimed in. Jody and Donna both shot Dean a look like “we think she's right.” Claire put her two cents in: “I don't think it really matters, he's just not that kind of guy. He's too nice to hit on anyone at all. He'd never make the first move.” Alex shrugged. “I still think he's gay.” Jody and Donna still seemed to agree, with both of them. 

It wasn't just Castiel’s sexual orientation that Dean was learning about, Jody went right out and told him what hours the guy worked at the bookstore. “You know, if Ben wants to go knock over some more books.” Yeah, they had that conversation. As soon as Dean saw Castiel walk into that house he looked at sam and said, “Holy shit! That's the bookstore guy!” Sam already knew all about it because they talked on the phone everyday, mostly about Ben and how school was going for Sam. Jody, of course, overheard Dean’s shock from seeing bookstore guy, and had to have the whole story. 

Dean never really went out and told his family that he was bisexual, they just kind of always knew. He never expected them to try and hook him up with someone though, whether it be a man or woman. 

After much joking and gossiping people started to get ready to head out, or head to bed, and Jody pulled Dean aside, with a now sleeping Ben in his arms.

“Listen Dean, should you decide to go to that bookstore again, be gentle. Don't you dare think of him as a hook up. He's probably still a virgin to be honest, and that boy really cannot take any more heartbreak. I just thought he looked damn good with Ben tonight, and that sure made you smile. He's really not one to open up to people, or even talk to them, so he must really like you.” 

“Well, Jody, I really didn't think you were arranging a one night stand for me, I figured you wanted me to date him.”

“Just remember boy, if you hurt him, I have guns.”

After being “scary AF” Jody went from terrifying cop to loving mama and grabbed Ben from Dean's arms, careful not to wake him, and cuddled him close and gave him lots of kisses. Everybody loved Ben so much, it was a sweet sight to see. 

Donna had already packed up leftovers for Dean and Ben to take home, so he grabbed them and Jody carried his son to the car. A lot of people criticized Dean at first when he refused to get a more “child friendly” car when Ben was born. Dean thought the seat belt additions were enough, and people learned to leave it alone. After all, this was the car he and Sammy rode in as kids. 

Jody gave Dean a hug goodbye after getting Ben safe in his car seat. Dean truly did have a great family, even though pretty much none of them were blood relatives. They somehow were all just meant to be in each other's lives. 

Dean drove home without Ben making a peep. It was a loud car, so it was a miracle that his two year old slept so well in it. Even once he pulled up to the house, got out of the car, and unbuckled Ben, he was still knocked out. Dean changed him into pajamas and laid him in his bed. He tucked him in and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He was truly a lucky man, he thought, despite all of the horrible things that have happened to him. He had a great son, a great family, a great car, and now their very own home. It wasn't a big house, but it was too big for the two of them. 

Dean found himself imagining what it'd be like to have Castiel here with them. He imagined him helping put Ben to bed, making dinner, cleaning the house, going to bed with Dean every night…..

Okay he really needed to do something about this. But he couldn't until the morning. 10am, when Castiel started his shift at the bookstore. He needed to take his ass to bed so it could be tomorrow already. What was this? High school? He could feel all the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. 

 

*

Dean stood inside of Starbucks, staring at their menu, wondering what the hell a man like Castiel would drink. He suddenly wished how the man took his coffee had been on Jody's list of things about Castiel to gossip about last night. 

Ben was with Eileen at her and Sam’s apartment. The first time he left Ben alone with her he'd been nervous. What if Ben yelled for help and Eileen couldn't hear him and something horrible happened? Sam assured him many times that his son would be okay with his girlfriend. Dean wanted to text her constantly and ask how his son was doing, but he didn't want to offend her either. He only finally came around to it when he picked Ben up and found out Eileen had been teaching him sign language all day, and he had caught on fast. 

Sam seemed pretty set on keeping this girl around, so Dean thought it was good that his son know sign language. He felt bad that he didn't. Eileen never complained, but it had to be frustrating having to focus extra hard to communicate with people because they didn't know your language. 

Dean liked Eileen, but had been surprised when her and Sam initially got together. Sam had just come home from California, where he'd been going to Stanford for pre-law. He had a girlfriend there, Jessica Moore, and the only reason he came home was because of her death. He decided he was going to finish law school in South Dakota. Sure, it wouldn't be Stanford, but he'd be with his family. Sam had only been home for a week when he met Eileen. They met at the library, of course. That was sooo them. Eileen was in school as well, but she was majoring in history. She already had a job at the local museum. 

Dean had to accept that there was a 90% chance that whatever coffee he picked out, Castiel would hate it. He better at least accept the gesture. 

“What kind of drink would a nerdy guy that works at a bookstore order?” Dean asked the barista. She laughed.

“Sounds like the hipster type? He wouldn't go for the coffee at all. Pick from the tea menu.”

“Oh. Never would have thought of that. Uhh... how about a….green tea? Yeah we’ll go with that. Black coffee for me.”

Dean paid for his drinks and headed to the bookstore. He wondered if Castiel would lie and say he liked tea and didn't. Women seemed to know these things a bit better though, didn't they? He wanted to trust the barista. The whole romance thing...it was new to him. Never even went through all that with Lisa. It was strictly sex with them until she got pregnant. 

In the very back of his mind there was something telling him he should be concerned about Castiel’s time “away”, but if he's learned anything in his life, it's not to judge someone by the things that have happened to them. Looking at his own past, he would have never expected himself to be a good father, but he thought he was doing a pretty good job, all things considered. 

Jody had told Dean that the only family Castiel had left was his brother. Dean could relate to that. He was curious to know more. Probably something dark happened, it would explain a lot. 

Once he pulled up to the bookstore it took him a few minutes to get out of the car. What was he going to say? Here’s some tea because I judged you as a nerdy hipster, hope ya like it. I'm a big dork and came to your goddamn workplace to ask you out because I wanted to see you immediately. I promise I'm not a stalker. Yeah, this was going to go great. 

He walked into the store, little bell dinging. It wasn't Kevin at the desk this time, but a woman. When she saw him she got a crazy look in her eye…

“HI! I'm Becky. Can I help you with anything?”

“Uh...no thanks...I'll just uh….”

“Dean?” Castiel appeared from behind a bookshelf. 

“Oh hey, uh, let's just….go over….here.” Dean said as he walked a few aisles down, not wanting an audience of crazy eyed Becky while he makes a fool of himself. 

“So….what's up?” Castiel said. He looked nervous. Dean could relate. 

“Uh, I wanted to see you, ha. Um...I brought you, uh, green tea.” Dean said, handing Castiel the Starbucks cup. 

“Oh! How did you know?”

“Uh, know?”

“Green tea is my favorite! I mean I like coffee, but it keeps me up all night, so I'm kind of thankful this is not coffee.”

“Oh, wow, I didn't know, wild guess. That turned out better than I expected.” Dean let out an internal sigh of relief. He never usually got this nervous picking someone up….he was actually known as a ladies man. But this was not a hook up and this was not a lady.

“Oh. Well, thank you.” Castiel looked to the ground, trying to hide an adorably nervous smile.

“So, uh, dinner sometime?” Ok here it comes, rejection, or the start to something great. 

“Oh. Um….really? Did...Jody...or Donna set you up to this?” Dean could tell that Castiel didn't usually get asked on dates. But why? He was gorgeous. Charming even, in his awkward-nerdy way. 

“They didn't tell me “bring him tea at his work and ask him to dinner” but they definitely aren't against it.” Dean laughed, remembering everything they said last night. “To be honest I was trying to think up a reason to come back here, ever since the situation with Ben. I don't really know why….that was embarrassing as hell, but yeah no one is forcing me to do this. If it was anyone, it would probably be Ben, who I think would love getting more opportunities to harass you.” 

Castiel laughed at that. “I think I would love to have dinner with you, and be harassed by Ben as well.” 

“Oh good, because it'll be really exhausting having to apologize for him all the time, but now that I know you're consenting to it, it'll be all good.” They both laughed. Castiel’s grin made the butterflies in Dean’s stomach stir. “So uh...where do you like to eat?” 

Castiel’s smile suddenly dropped. What did Dean say wrong? “I don't really go places for dinner...sometimes I go to the diner next door but usually I either pick something up or Gabriel cooks. I'll be fine with whatever you choose I suppose….”

Dean thought that was a little odd, but he had already accepted that Castiel was sort of an odd guy. Damn good looking, but odd. He wondered if there was a story behind his opposing of restaurants. He wanted to know all of Castiel’s stories. He was so mysterious, which was probably one of the things that drew Dean in. 

“I could always cook for you at my house, and then Ben could harass you. Or we could go to that diner, get to know each other without a toddler trying to steal food off our plates and wanting to climb all over us like a cat.” 

“You'd really want to go to that old diner on a date?”

“I thought you liked it!”

“I do like it, but most people don't. It's old and not really ‘date material’.”

“I don't have high standards.”

“That explains why you're asking me on a date.”

“What?! NO!”

“I'm just kidding with you, Dean.”

This guy was somethin’ else. Dean was going to have to come up with a better plan, since Castiel was being so weird about where they ate. 

“Ok how about we go to a movie instead? Then, if you have a good time...we could go to a bar or somethin’ and have some drinks and bar food, talk. I know a good place!” 

“That sounds like a great plan.” Dean was happy to see Castiel’s adorable smile back on his face. “What movie were you thinking?”

“They remade that clown movie “It”. My brother refuses to see it! He's terrified of clowns and it's honestly hilarious. You're not scared of clowns are you?”

Castiel laughed. “No, I'm not. Clowns are the least of my worries. I've read the book. Stephen King is a great author.” 

“Oh yeah...that's right. I don't know much about books. Maybe that's something you can teach me, ha. So, tomorrow night? I can text you the movie times! Um, if you give me your number?”

“Yes, of course Dean, that sounds great.” Dean handed Castiel his phone and he put his number in. He handed it back with a smile. 

“So, see ya then!”

“Wow, you really didn't come here for a book, huh?”

“Oh, actually, do you think 2 years old is too young of a kid to read Harry Potter to?”

“No, I don't think so. He probably won't remember much though.” 

“Ok, thanks. I actually...have never read it. So I thought I might read it for the first time with Ben.”

“I think that'd be very sweet of you.” Castiel said as he laid the first Harry Potter book in Dean’s hand. Apparently they were standing in just the right place. Ha. 

“Thanks. Well, goodbye then. See you tomorrow.”

“Yes, see you tomorrow. Goodbye, Dean.”


End file.
